Change Really Does Happen when the Pain becomes Greater . . . then the Fear of Change Itself

My name is Jamie L.
I was at Sacred Heart Residential from November 29th to December 19th of 2012. I knew that I would end up going to Sacred Heart- when I truly had enough pain, and was ready actually ready to surrender my suffering from my addiction. And the hurt I felt from "using" daily.

I always knew Sacred Heart was THEE BEST rehabilitation service there was. But, I was always afraid to commit to giving up my heroin addiction. But, after many times of waking up face down, with brokern ribs, a broken nose and things to terrible to talk about--my higher power told me --THIS WAS IT!

I'd put myself in so many situations that I would've never been in sober. I hurt so many people who loved me- and thankfully- those people still love me. My higher power told me I had no more "runs" left in me! 

Sacred Heart helped me save my life! I know- if I'd kept using I'd be dead, today! No doubt! My higher power was so strong and powerful- even in the employees in Sacred Heart. I ended up submitting my will over to my higher power.

I missed out on 20 years of my life- thinking I was this great wonderful person when I was "high", but the truth is . . . everyone was pulling away from me- even my kids. No one could stand me. But, now that I am sober- I feel like I finally am the person I used to be. That I liked being- and that other liked being around!

I had shut out so much in my life when i "used". But, now I am experiencing all the things that i have longed- for so long and they are actually satisfying to me. Even the little things! But when I was high- I was numb and thought I was experiencing those things- when I really didn't feel anything.

If I wouldn't of went to Sacred Heart- I would be still miserable, lonely, person I used t be. The staff made me feel understood- they'd been there! And they showed me love, when I felt I didn't deserve any. Nor loved myself, I began to have some self respect while there and care about myself- again.

I am so truly grateful for ALL of the staff! they understood us so well- better than you all are probably feeling at first. They love everyone and understand exactly how we feel- in every step of your recovery. They truly are family to all of us- because we all [even many of the staff] have been where you are and in between the bad and good. I also want to especially thank the nurses for being so caring and empathetic when I truly had been suffering.

I was a hurt child [not yet the women I am beginning to become finally] when I got there. I had so much hurt and pain in my life that it came out as anger. Sacred Heart taught me- I had to "let go"- to move on with my recovery. To get "well" and I cam e to realize I was mad at myself and mainly hurt me- I am NOT an angry person today. I also have learned to let "go" of people and things that had hurt me and held me down my whole life. 

Now, I am grateful for every minute, every hour, and everyday.

Thank you, to Sacred Heart, even other clients, I Have learned from everyone there. About how I didn't want to be anymore, and exactly who and how I want to be.

I have 45 days "clean" now, and I feel great! I pray everyday for everyone who has been to or is at Sacred Heart- that you all will get the same spiritual awakening that I had when I was there. It has truly changed me inside and out.

I have no urge to use. Sometimes my body tried to trick me- into believing I'm still "sick", but it only takes 30 seconds to loose that thought or feeling.

Change really does happen when the pain becomes greater- than the fear of change itself. That is thee best way to put it. If you really have had enough pain than surrender your heart while you're in Sacred Heart and watch the change in yourself! It's great!

Thank you for all of the knowledge and help- you've truly given me- Sacred Heart. I am truly grateful to all of you- staff and clients for everything you've done for me!

Love you all-
Jamie L.